|
Doctor doctor i keep feeling, that i'm covered in gold
pain.
Don't worry, its just a gilt complen.
|
My husband is so simple he even takes a saddle and riding
hat to bed with him in case of night mars. |
|
What's the easiest way to get to heaven quickly?
Stand in the fast lane of a motor way.
|
Patient : Doctor , Doctor , people are always ignoring me.
Doctor : Next. |
|
Jill : Do you know what you look like with your eyes
shut?
Jan:
No.
Jill :
Well, have a look in the mirror with your eyes shut.
|
Father : How were your marks in the exam, daughter?
Daughter : Under water.
Father :
What do you mean?
Daughter :
Below C level. |
|
What does your watch say?
Tock , Tick.
That's a bit odd, isn't it?
Yes i'm afraid it's a bit backward.
|
If I give you 3 rabbits...and then I give you 2 rabbits...howmany
will you have?"asked the math teacher. The student said
"Six." "Six?" asked the math teacher. "Yes, I've got one
already. |
|
Patient : I feel funny, doctor. What should i do?
Doctor :
Become a comedian.
|
Ann : I ' m glad I wasn' t born in France .
Dan : Why 's that ?
Ann : I can ' t speak French. |
|
Businessman : How is your typing speed coming along,
Miss Smith?
Miss Smith:
Oh fine thank you sir now i can make twenty mistakes a
minute.
|
Molly : What nationality are you?
Polly : Well , my father was born in Iceland & my mother was
born in Cuba.
Molly :
Oh , so you're an ice cube? |
|
Man : Good Morning madam, I'm the piano tuner.
Mrs.pye : But i didn't send for.
Man :
No, but your neighbour did.
|
Careers Master : What are you going to do where you grow up
?
Boy : I ' m going to follow in my father 's footsteps and be
a policeman.
Careers Master : Oh , so your father 's a policeman ?
Boy : No , He 's a burglar. |
|
Jock : I'm sorry to hear your factory was burnt
down.What did you manufactures?
Dick : Fire extinguishers.
|
Billy : "The telephone 's ringing . Why don ' t you answer
it?"
Milly : "Why should I? I don ' t know who 's calling." |
|
Teacher : Why did Robin Hood only rob the rich?
Pupil : Because poor people don't have any money.
|
What did the girl put her watch in her back trouser pocket
before in sitting down?
She wanted to be on time for her date. |
|
Teacher : When was magra carta signed , Kaisie?
Maisie : At quarter past twelve , sir.
Teacher :
At quarter past twelve?
Maisie :
Yes, Sir 1215!
|
Teacher : What would you like to become when you grow up?
Student : A teacher.
Teacher :
why?
Student :
Because I love shouting. |
